I’m a Therapist and I Still Missed My Postpartum Anxiety
Takeaway: I’m sharing my story with postpartum anxiety (PPA) to remind you that you’re not alone—and that even a therapist specializing in maternal mental health can miss the signs in herself. In this post, I walk you through the risk factors, symptoms, and what helped me heal. If you’re struggling with postpartum anxiety, there is hope—and postpartum counseling can truly make a difference.
I’m a therapist, and I still missed my postpartum anxiety.
Postpartum Anxiety (PPA) is more common than most people realize. It happens to about 1 in 10 women according to the statistics, but perinatal mental health providers like me believe the number is actually higher because so many women are not diagnosed. It often overlaps with Postpartum Depression (PPD) and many women who are diagnosed with PPD later realize that they also have PPA.
I’m sharing my story with you not just as a therapist who specializes in maternal mental health, but as a mom who missed the signs in herself. Even with all my training, I didn’t see it clearly at the time—because when it’s happening to you, it’s hard to name. My hope is that by opening up about my experience, you’ll feel a little more understood, a little less alone, and maybe more prepared to recognize what’s happening if you’re feeling this way too.
What is Postpartum Anxiety (PPA)?
Postpartum Anxiety is a specific type of anxiety that begins during the first year of your child’s life. It’s more than feeling anxious or worried. It is persistent and gets in the way of your daily life, disturbs you, and impacts the way you feel about yourself and being a parent.
PPA can impact anyone. You’re more likely to experience it if you have risk factors, but it truly can feel like it comes out of nowhere. It’s important to know that it is treatable, and that with the right support, you can feel better.
What My Postpartum Anxiety Looked Like
Looking back, it’s difficult to pinpoint the time my postpartum anxiety (PPA) started, although I think it was during pregnancy, and I was lucky that I got support before it got too severe. I credit this to my therapeutic knowledge, my long history of participating in my own therapy, and my supportive partner who gave me lots of breaks and allowed me to rest + extend my maternity leave.
The biggest outward signal of my PPA was weight loss. I simply couldn’t eat, because I felt nervous, and I often didn’t feel hungry. Strangely, I was complimented for the weight loss at every medical appointment I attended, even when I began to weigh less than I did before I was pregnant. No one attributed this to anxiety.
Other signs of postpartum anxiety (PPA) showed up in my daily behaviors. Looking back, these are the things I now recognize as part of my anxiety:
I didn’t want to leave my son alone with anyone unless I was also home.
I became incredibly—and somewhat neurotically—organized.
I over-researched and over-read about my son’s development.
I scrolled social media late at night and shopped online, looking for ways to be a “better” mom.
I avoided my emotions and stuffed them down instead of processing them.
I tried to people-please everyone around me.
I greatly limited who had access to my baby out of fear he would get sick—most friends and family didn’t meet him until he was over six months old.
That last piece—limiting access to others—allowed me to maintain full control over his care, schedule, and environment. But it came at a cost: I became socially isolated and incredibly lonely. The social support I needed wasn’t there, partly because I didn’t let it in (and partly because we were in a pandemic!).
The Risk Factors I Carried
As a maternal mental health therapist who had experienced infertility and recurrent pregnancy loss, I knew I was at high risk for postpartum anxiety— and I was incredibly worried about this throughout my entire pregnancy. Both infertility and pregnancy loss make women more vulnerable to developing Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorders (PMADs), including Postpartum Anxiety (PPA). I brought this up multiple times at my prenatal appointments, but each time I was told my screenings were normal and reassured to "worry about it if it happened." Despite raising the issue, no one on my care team ever initiated a conversation with me about postpartum anxiety when I was in the thick of it.
Here are some of the key risk factors I carried that increased my chances of developing postpartum anxiety:
Experiencing a high-risk pregnancy and the social isolation that comes with it. If you’ve been there, too, you know it’s stressful, especially after facing recurrent miscarriages. On top of the medical risks, there are many appointments, emergency hospital visits, and you face many unknowns.
Experiencing birth trauma. To avoid triggering anyone, I will leave it at birth trauma. But know that going through a dangerous birth raises your risk, just as it did mine.
Having a child with medically complex issues. Two days after we came home from the hospital, we rushed my son to the emergency department and sat there all night long. He was having major digestive issues, and they were scary. It took more than 6 months of specialist appointments, scheduling a surgery that ended up being canceled, and lots of trial and error before he was diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder (that is now well-managed). At the time, it was scary.
Having life-long, high functioning anxiety. I was already carrying a heightened vulnerability to Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorders (PMADs), making it even more important to watch closely for signs of postpartum anxiety (PPA) throughout pregnancy and postpartum.
Being pregnant and giving birth during a pandemic. My pregnancy took place during stay-at-home orders and I was instructed to avoid public spaces and social gathering throughout my pregnancy (plus I was on bed rest!). Being away from a village of support is a risk factor for all women.
What Helped Me Heal from Postpartum Anxiety
The turning point in my postpartum anxiety (PPA) was when my son’s illness was finally diagnosed and started to improve. The relief I felt in having a well child was huge, and it helped me realize just how intense my anxiety had been + how important getting help right away was for me.
After that, I started to reach out and lean on my social support network, have friends over to meet my son, and I even let a trusted friend care for my son so I could take breaks during the day. With support, I started to cope with my anxious feelings instead of pushing them down. For me exercise, time outside, writing, and finding a community of women going through the same thing helped me the most. Within a few months, I felt like myself again—and I’m so grateful for that.
If You Think You Might Have Postpartum Anxiety
When you notice that you’re experiencing PPA, it can be difficult to know what to do. Here are some different ideas:
Ask the friends and family you trust to help you take breaks. This is really, really important. Without rest, it’s nearly impossible for anyone to experience mental wellness. If you don’t want a break from your baby, that’s okay. Ask for a different type of break. A break from the dishes, the laundry, or grocery shopping can also free up space for you to rest.
Call your healthcare provider. Choose the provider you trust, whether that be your primary doctor, your OBGYN, your midwife, your doula, your lactation consultant, or your therapist. Explain that you think you are experiencing postpartum anxiety and ask them to support you with connecting to resources. If you don’t think you can make the call yourself, as your partner or a close friend to call on your behalf. You
Check out Postpartum Support International’s Resources. These include support hotlines, no-cost support groups, education resources, and more.
Consider Therapy. Working with a therapist who specializes in PMADs like postpartum anxiety and postpartum depression is incredibly helpful. Look for a specialist in perinatal mental health or maternal mental health. She can help you shift your focus from the anxiety to caring for your physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing.
Note: If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, you should call 911, 988, or go directly to your emergency department. You deserve to get immediate support, and waiting is not appropriate for emergencies.
Therapy for Postpartum Anxiety Can Help
Postpartum anxiety (PPA) is much more common that most women realize, and it is also incredibly under-supported and under-diagnosed. If you believe that you are experiencing PPA, I want you to know that you’re not alone. Treatment is available, and you will feel better again with support.
Therapy can be a valuable tool for navigating the way anxiety impacts your everyday experience of being a mom and the challenges it creates in your ability to feel well and whole. Having a safe space to share your complex feelings, identify the challenges anxiety creates for you, and develop strategies to lessen the impact of your anxiety will help. We can work together to find the coping skills and solutions that will work for you and your family.
In the Seattle or Kitsap Peninsula area of Washington State? Get in touch to learn more about postpartum anxiety counseling with me and see if we’re a fit.
MEET THE AUTHORHi, I’m Dr. Julie Franks.
Dr. Julie is a licensed perinatal and maternal mental health therapist based in Washington State, specializing in postpartum anxiety counseling. She deeply believes that every mother deserves support—because no one was meant to go through motherhood alone. At her practice, Nurturing the Sisterhood, she creates a safe, compassionate space where women feel truly seen, heard, and supported. She proudly serves women throughout the greater Seattle area, the Kitsap Peninsula, and across Washington State.
