How New Moms Can Trust Their Gut When Everyone Has Parenting Advice
Takeaway: If you’re a new mom overwhelmed by parenting advice, know this: your instincts matter. Science shows that maternal intuition is real, and your unique connection with your baby can guide you through even the noisiest opinions. You don’t have to follow every piece of advice—sometimes the wisest path is listening to yourself. If you’re struggling to tell the difference between intuition, anxiety, and intrusive thoughts, you’re not alone. Learn to build confidence in your instincts—one small choice at a time.
Trusting Your Instincts: Navigating Pregnancy and Motherhood Advice Overload
There’s something about becoming a new mom that attracts endless advice—from well-meaning friends about feeding schedules, to baby sleep strategies, parenting books, and even strangers offering unsolicited tips. But what if your inner voice—the one quietly telling you something’s off—clashes with all of that?
I’ve seen this again and again in my work with postpartum moms. One client, for example, felt uneasy about leaving her newborn with a trusted family friend who offered to help. Even though it felt wrong, she stayed quiet to avoid hurting anyone’s feelings. Later, she deeply regretted not speaking up. (Identifying details adjusted for privacy.)
In my own experience giving birth, I carried a persistent anxiety: I worried I wouldn’t survive labor. My OBGYN listened, trusted my gut, and stayed prepared for complications long before they emerged. That deep trust in my intuition—before anything went wrong—made all the difference.
→ If you want to hear more about my Prenatal and Postpartum Anxiety (PPA) story you can check it out here
Why Stories Like These Matter for New Moms
Moms regularly dismiss their instincts in the face of societal pressure. Yet what research from parenting sites like Parents.com and Raised Good consistently shows is that maternal intuition is real—and it often matters.
Experts agree: pregnancy and postpartum hormonal shifts actually rewire the brain to heighten sensitivity to a baby’s cues and safety signals—your gut is biologically calibrated to detect risk and need.
So when you feel something doesn’t sit right—whether it’s with babysitting, a health concern, or a parenting choice—you owe it to yourself and your baby to listen. It’s not anxiety. It’s not overreacting. It’s not second-guessing. It’s your inner wisdom guiding you forward.
Why New Moms Doubt Their Gut—and How to Reclaim Your Intuition
For so many new moms, trusting your gut doesn’t come naturally. Instead, it can feel nearly impossible when you’re surrounded by opinions, expectations, and pressure to “do it right.” Here’s what I hear most often from clients (and what I’ve felt myself):
You don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. Declining help or setting boundaries can feel risky—especially if family or friends genuinely want to be involved.
We’re taught not to “make a fuss.” Many of us have been socialized from a young age to put others’ needs first, to be “easy,” and not to rock the boat.
You’re already stretched thin. If you’re caring for other kids, running a household, or returning to work, it can feel like there’s no space left for your own needs or hunches.
You’re worried about looking anxious or “overreacting.” For those already managing mom anxiety, the idea of voicing a concern can trigger worries about being dismissed, judged, or labeled as difficult.
There’s so much pressure to look like you have it together. Whether it’s in the pediatrician’s office, at a playdate, or online, moms often feel they must appear competent and calm—even if their instincts say otherwise.
These pressures pile up until tuning out your inner voice starts to feel safer than listening to it..
How to Tell the Difference: Intuition vs. Anxiety (and Intrusive Thoughts)
If you’re a new mom, you’ve probably wondered: Am I being intuitive, or just anxious?
It’s not always easy to tell. Intuition and anxiety can look and feel similar, especially when you’re sleep-deprived or overwhelmed. One of the most confusing parts of new motherhood can be intrusive thoughts—those sudden, unwanted, often alarming ideas or images that pop into your mind (UPMC, Cedars-Sinai).
Here’s how I talk about the differences:
Intuition feels like a steady, quiet nudge. It’s rooted in care, clarity, or a sense of knowing what’s best for your child, even if it’s hard to explain or goes against popular advice.
Anxiety is usually louder, urgent, or panicky. It’s driven by fear or the “what ifs,” and can make you feel on edge or out of control.
Intrusive thoughts are a type of anxiety symptom. They show up as unwanted, out-of-character, and often distressing thoughts or images. For new moms, these might sound like, “What if I drop the baby?” or “What if something terrible happens?” They can be really scary, but having them does not mean you’ll act on them.
Intrusive thoughts are common in postpartum and often get mistaken for a “gut feeling” or a sign that something bad will happen. But they’re really a part of anxiety, not intuition. But here’s something that is often missed:
Anxiety can also be protective. It’s your brain and body’s way of watching for danger, trying to keep you and your baby safe. Sometimes, what you’re worried about is a very real safety issue—and it’s absolutely okay to take those feelings seriously and double-check.
If you’re not sure what you’re feeling, try talking it out with someone who takes you seriously. Often, naming your worries—especially to someone who won’t judge—helps you sort out what’s your intuition, what’s anxiety, and what’s just an intrusive thought.
You’re not alone if you’ve had intrusive thoughts. They don’t define you, and they’re not your intuition. And sometimes anxiety is worth listening to, especially when it comes to safety. Your real gut wisdom is still there, underneath all the noise.
→Want extra support with mom anxiety? Download my 100% free Mom Anxiety Coping Cards — full of 20+ simple, supportive tools for new moms navigating stress and worry.
Your Connection Is Unique—and Backed by Science
Your intuition matters because you are the mom. No one else has your level of connection—physical, biological, and emotional—to your child. You know them in ways nobody else can. Your presence, your instincts, and your love all matter.
You can trust yourself.
And if you need reassurance, research shows that mothers develop new neural pathways during pregnancy and postpartum that help attune you to your baby’s needs. But long before science said so, moms have always known: your gut matters.
Practical Actions for Trusting Your Intuition as a New Mom
It’s one thing to want to trust your intuition—but in real life, it can feel overwhelming to know where to start. The truth is, tuning in to your gut is a practice, not a perfect. You don’t have to get it “right” every time, and it’s okay to take things one step at a time. Here are some ways you can begin honoring your instincts—especially when outside opinions feel loud and your own voice feels quiet:
Pause—and know you don’t have to decide right away.
Unless it’s an emergency, you always have time. Give yourself permission to slow down before making a decision, especially when you feel pressure from others.Ask yourself: What feels true for me and my baby right now?
Center your decision-making on what actually feels right to you, not what others say you “should” do.Remind yourself that you are the expert on your child.
No matter how much advice you get, remember: nobody knows your baby better than you do.Practice saying, “Thank you, I’ll think about it.”
This simple phrase gives you space to consider outside advice without needing to immediately agree or disagree.Communicate your intuition with confidence.
When you share your instincts confidently (even if you’re still figuring it out), others are more likely to trust and respect your decision.
When You Want to Double-Check Your Intuition (or Incorporate Feedback)
Sometimes, trusting your gut doesn’t mean acting alone. There are moments when it’s wise—and even protective—to pause, get a second opinion, or see if new information changes your mind. Listening to your intuition also means giving yourself permission to course-correct or gather support, especially if you’re not sure what feels right.
Here are two actions to help you honor both your intuition and any helpful feedback you receive:
Check in with a safe person.
Share your intuition or doubts with someone who listens well and doesn’t judge—this could be a partner, friend, therapist, or support group. This is something I do in my therapy practice for moms all the time, because sometimes saying things out loud is what makes everything click.Allow yourself to change your mind.
Trusting your gut sometimes means course-correcting. It’s okay to adjust if new information or feelings come up. Your intuition grows stronger each time you allow yourself to learn, reflect, and shift as needed.
Therapy for Moms Who Want to Feel Heard—Even When Advice Is Everywhere
Learning to listen to yourself—especially when everyone else has an opinion—can be tough, isolating, and sometimes confusing. Therapy can help you get clear on what feels true for you, untangle anxiety from intuition, and practice speaking up for your needs (and your baby’s) with more confidence.
Nurturing the Sisterhood is a perinatal therapy practice for women across Washington State. We support women who reside in Seattle, Bellevue, Bainbridge Island, Kitsap County, or anywhere in Washington.
We specialize in therapy for new moms. Whether you’re overwhelmed by advice, struggling with intrusive thoughts, or just want space to hear your own voice, you’re welcome here.
→Click here to schedule your free intro call today. No pressure—just a chance to connect and see if we're a fit.
You deserve support from a therapist who truly gets what you're going through. I’m here for you when you’re ready.
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