Postpartum Anxiety at Night: Why Evenings and Overnights Feel So Hard for New Moms
TLDR; Takeaway
Postpartum anxiety at night can make you feel like you always have to be watching, checking, researching, or preparing for something to go wrong. It can also leave you completely exhausted and unable to rest, even when your baby is sleeping. In this post, Dr. Julie, a Seattle postpartum therapist who specializes in postpartum anxiety therapy, helps moms understand what postpartum at night looks like, why anxiety can feel so much more intense at night, and explains when to consider professional postpartum support.
Many moms find their postpartum anxiety worse at night simply because they are tired. Exhaustion can make sadness, tearfulness, or worry feel stronger, more intense, or harder to manage.
MOM'S MENTAL HEALTH MATTERS.Postpartum Anxiety at Night: What it Looks Like
As a Seattle postpartum therapist, one of the most common (and under-discussed) experiences I support new moms with is having an increase in postpartum anxiety symptoms after dark. The most common symptoms of postpartum anxiety at night that I see include:
Increasingly intense intrusive thoughts
Repeated checking on doors, window locks etc. to make sure the house is safe
Dread about the upcoming overnight
A sudden sense that something bad might happen
Not being willing or able to allow others to hold the baby
Feeling tired but unable to sleep, even if the baby is sleeping
Excessively checking on the baby (especially while the baby is asleep)
Over-researching health conditions or worries
Doomscrolling in an attempt to numb the anxious feeling
More irritability than during the daytime
Cleaning, sanitizing, or catching up on chores overnight instead of sleeping
Risk factors that increase the likelihood of a new mom experiencing nighttime anxiety with newborn care include facing infertility prior to pregnancy, experiences of pregnancy loss, birth trauma, or a NICU. Each of these experiences threatened your belief in the safety of your child or of your ability to become a parent. Your nervous system may have learned to remain ready for the next challenge and scan for the next emergency.
Nighttime Anxiety With Newborn Care Can Keep Your Body on Alert and Prevent Rest
Caring for a baby asks you to stay responsive around the clock, which can be especially challenging for moms who are experiencing nighttime anxiety around newborn care. The constant monitoring and anticipating your baby’s needs can trigger a symptom of anxiety called hypervigilance, which is an extreme state of alertness and are constantly scanning for possible danger. While you are in a state of hyperviliance, your nervous system stays stuck in a flight-fight-freeze-or-fawn state.
Hypervigliance is especially challenging for nighttime anxiety with newborn care because it almost always leads to sleep deprivation in the mother. And without sleep and rest, it’s almost impossible for symptoms of postpartum anxiety to subside.
Sundown Scaries Postpartum: Is This the Same Thing as Postpartum Anxiety at Night?
Yes. Some moms call the experience of increased postpartum anxiety symptoms overnight the sundown scaries postpartum, sundown scaries, or sunset scaries. Others use phrases like nighttime scaries postpartum or postpartum sundowning.
These are informal terms for the uneasiness or dread that can happen as daylight fades. Evening may bring uncertainty about sleep, feeding, or being the only person awake with the baby. For lonely moms, the quiet can make a lack of support feel more visible.
Why Anxiety at Night With a Newborn Increases When the Day Gets Quiet
The Distractions that Help You Manage Your Postpartum Anxiety During the Day are Gone
During the day, tasks of caring for a newborn are similar to those that you face overnight, but they also include distractions from your postpartum anxiety symptoms. Appointments, interaction with other adults who are awake during the day, and the ability to reach out to your social circle for support are notable differences during the daytime. Many women who experience postpartum anxiety are able to may move from one task to the next without noticing how overwhelmed they feel. Additionally, they are often praised for how well they are caring for their baby and how on top of things they are.
The Darkness of the Night Increases Your Feelings of Social Isolation
As nighttime approaches, the world becomes dark and quiet. The mystery of the dark is something that often bothers new moms who experience anxiety at night with their newborn, and a common response is for the mom to increase her scanning for danger. It is common for women who experience this symptom to close the blinds or curtains and double-check door and window locks frequently.
Additionally, for women who experience postpartum anxiety at nighttime, the task of caring for your newborn overnight can feel isolating and alone. Sometimes women will also anticipate their upcoming lack of sleep, and that anticipation can feel worse than the lack of sleep itself.
Your Exhaustion Makes The Baby Blues at Night Feel Heavier
Finally, your level of exhaustion is often highest at the end of a long day of caring for your newborn and your household. Many moms find their postpartum anxiety worse at night simply because they are tired. Exhaustion can make sadness, tearfulness, or worry feel stronger, more intense, or harder to manage.
When Should a New Mom with Postpartum Anxiety at Nighttime Seek Professional Support or Therapy?
I recommend that a new mom considers postpartum therapy when postpartum anxiety at night happens regularly, makes it difficult to rest even when there is an opportunity to sleep, or when loved ones become concerned about your behavior. Much of the time, our loved ones notice that we are struggling before we do.
The research around postpartum anxiety consistently demonstrates that the earlier you gain support for your postpartum anxiety, the better your outcome will be. Most women who seek support begin to feel better quickly.
When you seek support, I recommend that you work with a therapist who specializes in postpartum anxiety therapy. This is not always easy to find, but essential. There are many therapists who will work with postpartum women who are anxious, but a specialist will approach things differently. There’s a lot of nuance when it comes to effective postpartum therapy, and having therapist who truly gets motherhood and the unique demands it presents is key.
Some women will also prefer to work with a postpartum therapist who has lived or personal experience with motherhood and postpartum anxiety. As a postpartum therapist for Seattle and Bellevue moms, I am open about my own experience of postpartum anxiety. Alongside my training and education, my experience informs my approach to care.
Begin Healing with Nurturing the Sisterhood: Postpartum Therapy for Moms with Anxiety in Seattle, Bellevue, and Kitsap
Nurturing the Sisterhood is a Seattle-based and Kitsap-based therapy practice that specializes in postpartum therapy, including therapy for postpartum anxiety and nighttime anxiety in early motherhood. We offer virtual therapy sessions for women in the Greater Seattle Area and across Washington State. We’re unique in that therapy for new moms is not something that we do; it’s our whole purpose.
If you’re struggling with postpartum anxiety and thinking about getting support in therapy, we’d love to be considered. You can schedule your free intro call here to learn more about therapy and see if we’re a fit.
Hi! I’m Dr. Julie and here’s why I write this blog:
Dr. Julie Franks, LICSW
I’m a postpartum therapist for Seattle, Bellevue, and Kitsap moms and the founder of Nurturing the Sisterhood.
I believe that all moms need and deserve support, which is why I write this blog—to help create the village every Washington mom deserves. If you’re looking for personalized mental health support, check out my postpartum therapy services to learn how I can help you feel supported as you navigate the hard parts of motherhood.
LEARN MORE ABOUT THERAPY FOR POsTPARTUM ANXIETY →